New Year's Solace

It's that time of year again, another year is coming to a close and another year is beginning. Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008. But is it just the date that changes or is there a meaning to the new year? Apart from countless resolutions that somehow always manage to fail and the renowned Times Square ball drop, what is New Year? I guess the meaning varies from person to person. For some people, the start of a new year is the beginning of change and for others it's a chance to forget the past year. For me the thought of a new year is always a comfort. I sit here on the eve of New Year's Eve and am so happy to have a moment to myself. I can just think of the year to come and think of the past year as well. No matter how many downs there were, I can always find ups. 2007 holds many, many great memories for me. Part of me doesn't want to let the year go, but if it means another year filled with new memories then I can't wait for 2008. Though there's much sorrow in letting last year go, I know that the New Year will bring solace.

Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

An interesting representation of life that I found, not sure of the author though:

Sometimes we forget what should always be important.

A philosophy professor stood in front of his class, picked up an empty Mayonnaise jar, and proceeded to fill it to the top with rocks with about a 2 inch-diameter. He then asked the students if it was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. The pebbles rolled into the spaces between the rocks. He asked again if the jar was full. Again the answer was yes. Picking up a box of sand, he poured that into the jar. Shaking the jar, the sand filled up the spaces left between the rocks and the pebbles.

Holding up the jar, the professor said, "This represents your life".

"The Rocks are the important things, your partner, your family, your children, your health, anything that is so important to you that if you lost it, you would nearly be destroyed."

"The Pebbles are the other things in your life that matter but on a smaller scale, like your house, your job, your car."

"The sand is everything else, the small stuff."

"If you put sand or pebbles in the jar first, there will be no room for the rocks. The same applies for life. Spending energy on small stuff, material things, will never allow room for the things that are truly important."

The Moral: Pay attention to the things that are critical in life. Play with your children, take your partner out for the evening. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, or wash your car. Take care of the Rocks first, the things that really matter. Set the priorities. The rest is just Sand and Pebbles.

Silence

Voices lingering, words stinging.
Tears falling, sobs stalling.
Heart pounding, sirens sounding.
Mind scattering, thoughts mattering.

It's all a dream, it's not what it seems.
It's all a nightmare, just a small scare.
It's all a joke, it's my heart not body that broke.
It's all a mistake, soon I know I'll be awake.

Noises swirling, and sounds whirling.
Head spinning, with hurt winning.
Dreams fading, and pain pervading.
Smile disappearing, with death nearing.

I know I'm not strong, it'll be soon before long.
The silence will move in, the silence will win.
Thinking of the nearness of death, the losing of breath.
It all seems so far away, all the pain and dismay.

Yet death is so close to us all, it may seem that the
death of another is just another story of pain.
Something that'll never come to affect us.
Yet death's the only thing we don't have in our control.

Live like there's no tomorrow, you'd
never want death to creep up on you.

Behind That Sparkling Smile

The truth we all have to face is that life's tough, we all know that,
Yet everyday I see hundreds of students come to school with smiles on their faces,
Their words and tone unwavering, their attitude normal and polite,
Their faces bright and illuminated with happiness, eyes bright and wide
Many students fail to even hint a frown or an angry look at times.
Yet, inside they're all suffering, each with their very own problems.
Some of them may be greater than others, but each just as difficult to overcome.
A problem might not be life-threatening, but can still challenge a person's happiness.
As I walk through the crowd, it's hard to tell if someone just lost a special someone,
hard to tell if someone's even slept properly in their own home last night,
and even harder to tell the many people who have been so close to facing death at times.
I realize how hard people try not to let others know what they're really going through,
people don't want to trouble others with their problems, so they hide themselves.
But behind that sparkling smile, is a person trying so hard to stay happy,
Behind those bright, wide eyes, is a person trying so hard to keep from tears,
Behind that contagious laugh, is a person who's torn from the inside, but will never show it.
There are so many people out there who suffer, yet no one knows what they go through.
I realize I really can't say anything about a person until I get to truly know them.
Often times, I judge people before I think, why is she so reserved or why is he so rude?
Maybe it's because of all they have to face and there are times where they just give up.
After all, if it's hard to truly smile from the inside, from the heart, imagine how hard it is to smile when all you have is a broken heart inside.

Whenever

Whenever hardships get the best of me, I try different things.
Whenever sadness crosses my path, I try to ignore it.
Whenever happiness comes my way, I rush to embrace it.
Whenever hate approaches my mind, I struggle to block it.
Whenever gratefulness shimmers in my thoughts, I accept it.
Whenever envy dares to taunt me, I manage to fight against it.
Whenever admiration hits me, I learn something new from it.
Whenever jealousy enters my system, I fail to recognize it.

Whenever appreciation flows through my veins, I savor it.

Whenever pride causes me to wander astray, I hope to conquer it.

Whenever modesty brings me back on track, I am thankful for it.

Whenever I get the best of hardships, I know I've accomplished something.

Despite the Circumstances...

Last summer I went to visit some of my family in Pakistan.

If I were to describe it in one word I would have to decide

between: different and unique, I can't choose at the moment.

Pakistan is completely different from here in many, many ways.

Heavy smog, traffic jams, construction everywhere, flooding rain.

Noisy streets, thousands of people, crowded markets, mosquitoes.

Sweltering heat, constant power outages, sticky humidity, lots of fun. Wait a minute there, did I just write lots of fun? Despite everything? Cross that out, I meant to write I had tons and tons of overwhelming fun. To most people this must be a shock, but what can I say, I'm shocked too. I always thought I was going to be the picky girl who wouldn't adjust at all. But despite all the circumstances, I surprised myself in many different ways. First of all, I had more fun in that one trip than I've had in a very long time. Second of all, I realized it's not always the place you go that determines its fun. It's the people that are there that makes the place truly what it is. I overcame any doubts or uncertainties and let myself go, that's all I could do. I can't really explain why I had the experience I did, I think it's a mix of things. I know that I've never really had a family experience because I don't have much family here, but being in a place with cousins galore I realized family is just as, if not more fun than being with friends. Suddenly I didn't really have to care what people thought of me and just have fun and be myself, what was there to be afraid of? That one visit caused me to understand that sometimes that best things can happen in the most unexpected places.

Wait For You

Inspirations can come from anywhere and anything.
The song, "Wait for You", inspired me to write this post.
I know I get the most random inspirations, but at least I'm inspired.
Songs, movies, books. I can't get enough of them and the never fail to amaze me.
Whether it's a soulful song, a breathtaking movie or an addictive book,
I am truly amazed by the people who work to create them.
These people manage to leave an impact with their work.
Whether they make you cry, laugh, or even scare you to death,
the works these people have created leave a lasting impact on your mind.
Just ask yourself, is there a book, song, or even movie you can relate to?
For me I can find all three and more, paintings, poems, they're all inspirations too.
You could say I'm easily inspired, but that's not true. I try to look behind
the work and time it took to create something before I criticize it.
Often times I hear people say, that movie was horrible or that song was pathetic.
But I remind myself that I don't think I could ever sing that well or make a movie that good.
This isn't just limited to movies and books, whether it's a dance, play, sport or even a speech, I find that I enjoy it much more if I think of the work it takes to do it in the first place. Just a piece of advice to some people, before you criticize or make fun of something, try to put yourself in the place of the person who created it. It just might change your views on things.

Makes Me Wonder

Emotions. They're so strong that sometimes I wonder that are we controlling our own fickle emotions or are they controlling us? I see people do things out of love, hate, and even grief. It seems like it's those emotions that are telling them what to do. Instead of acting on their own, I see people using their emotions as a guide. Sometimes I feel my emotions taking over me as well. There are times where I just have to give in and I end up doing things out of fear or out of grief. I feel as if those emotions are washing over me and pulling me into their grasp. And the worst part is that I can't do anything about it, I'm weak and I stand there swaying in the wind, letting my own feelings take over my life. It takes a while, but soon I recover and I know it won't be long until those emotions come around and take over my life for another short while. It just makes me wonder how lifeless emotions can control me even more than people themselves.

Ode to My Family

Here's an ode my little sister wrote for school, I
thought it was so nice, so I put it up:

Ode to my family who are always there,
The people who love me and always care.
They always comfort me in such a way,
That forever and ever I’ll never go astray.
Who wouldn’t want a family like mine,
So perfect and just truly divine?

Friends sometimes come and go and others will walk away,
But my family will never leave me any day.
They will always stay by my side,
And will never run and hide.
Who wouldn’t want a family like mine,
So perfect and truly divine?

Consequences and Regrets

Imagine life without regrets. No I'm not talking about a perfect life where there is nothing to regret. I'm talking about a life where there have been many mistakes but they're nothing to regret about. They say "Life's what we make it" and as I ponder that saying even more I realize how true it is. If I've made mistakes in life, why regret them? Of course it's mandatory to learn from those mistakes so they won't repeat themselves, but why sulk about them constantly later? I've always been told to learn from the past, live for the present, and plan for the future.

I think there's a huge difference between consequences and regrets. Consequences are things that are hard to avoid after mistakes. Consequences come buy one get one free with mistakes. But regrets? I don't remember seeing regrets as part of the package deal. I guess that's just something extra to buy, but placed right next to mistakes. Sometimes we feel it's necessary to regret our mistakes, and sometimes regretting does help, but what can you do about it. They say "Don't cry over spilled milk" and I think that saying is extremely true too. Why cause yourself more pain when they're nothing you can do about what's already been done? Sometimes I just don't understand why we complicate our life so much more than necessary.

Sleep

I shall make an attempt at rhyming. I love rhymes and admire Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss for making such amazing works that seem more like songs to sing than stories to read. I wrote this at night so obviously sleep was on my mind, I know it makes no sense at all, but here it is:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know what's so comforting about sleep.
Is it the blissful slumber or the darkened peace?
Is it the knowing feeling that soon your dreams will creep,
or is it the much awaited relaxed sigh you'll soon release?

I don't know what's so appealing about a dream.
Is it the terror-stricken nightmare or the pleasant thought?
Is it the too good to be true reality that those thoughts seem,
or is it the unexpected fear of whether you'll wake up or not?

I don't know what's so calming about rest.
Is it the relaxing feeling or the way to escape from it all?
Is it a break from life, a peaceful sensation to test,
or is it knowing that no matter how hard you try, it's still sleep in which you'll fall?

Fortune Cookies

Fortune Cookies.
Is there more fun in eating those cookies
or reading that much anticipated fortune?
Is there more fun in believing in the paper,
or mocking every cryptic word it says?
Is there more fun in opening just a couple more,
or eating one, content with what's been foretold?
Is there more fun in expecting the predicted,
or letting life go, it will come when it will come?
Is there more fun in sharing all the fortunes,
or keeping each strip of paper to one's one self?
Is there more fun in watching other's reactions,
or worrying about your own surprised face?
Is there more fun in reading and writing about fortune cookies,
or opening and cracking them and then eating them one by one?